SELF-TRUST: Lessons Learned From A Set Of Marley Twists

Over the past little while, a recurring theme has been playing itself out in my life in various ways. From major incidents to seemingly insignificant ones, I finally realized what the intended message was. Last night as I tossed and turned, wide awake with insomnia, I got it. I pulled out my phone, opened my Evernote app, and wrote:

I used to put more trust in others than I did myself. From now on, I’m trusting myself much more.

Funnily enough, once I typed that message, my insomnia lifted and I knocked out.

In many of my recent interactions, I’ve found myself doing things that have me putting Bee in the backseat. From deferring to so-called “experts”, sacrificing my wants and needs so that others would be more comfortable, and biting my tongue when I don’t want to rock the boat, I’ve been unknowingly allowing others to steer my ship. Internally, I’d acquiesce and tell myself that it’s OK – other people may know better, other people may do better, and things may just be better if I hold my tongue or wait my turn. However, with last night’s aha-moment, I realized just how much of a disservice I’m doing to myself.

One big kick-in-the-pants teachable moment was something superficial, but something that taught me a lot about myself. I *drumroll please* actually installed my very first set of Marley twists, all on my own! This was a major feat for an uncoordinated chick with 2 left hands whose fingers manage to get confused with even the simplest YouTube tutorial. Just last week, I paid a stylist to put in the thick, kinky Marley twists I desired, and instead got a head full of heavy Senegalese twists. I had seen pictures and blog posts from other naturalistas who had installed their own Marley twists, but instantly dismissed any possibility that I could do the same. I preferred to pay my money and trust someone who I thought would know better and do better than I – and even though she did an amazing job, it wasn’t what I wanted.

Waist-length Senegalese twists – looked lovely, but weighed a ton

After about 3 days, I ended up taking down the twists. I finally resolved to try to do the Marley twists myself, so I headed to the beauty sto’, picked up the tools I needed, and studied YouTube videos until I felt ready to tackle the job. I’ll just say this – I can do some mean twist-outs, Bantu knots, braid-outs, etc. – but I can’t cornrow, I do tragic flat twists, and consider any style using extensions as one that requires a professional. However, here I was, surrounded by hair extensions, butterfly clips, conditioner and gel, doing the twists – and doing them pretty damn well for a 1st timer, too. When I was through, I was amazed with the final product – I kept looking at my reflection saying, “Did I really do this?”

EDIT: Click here for my Marley Twist tutorial post!

My self-installed Marley twists – not perfect, but I did a LOT better than I thought for my 1st time!

That moment illuminated something for me. In literal and figurative ways, it showed me that I have been putting WAY too much trust in others, and I haven’t been trusting in one of the most capable people I know – myself. Downplaying my abilities hasn’t really benefited me in any way – I’ve lost money, missed opportunities, and second-guessed myself when my instincts were right. I think it’s high time to get off this ride and hitch a new one – one that has me trusting in my ability to do things well, to speak my mind, to go with my gut, and to put myself first a little bit more. A wise man in IKEA said to me once, “Don’t be so afraid to make a mistake that you don’t do ANYTHING.” That being said, a sista is about to do a whole lot – and trust myself that it’ll go better than I thought, or I’ll at the very least learn something along the way.

Do you trust yourself? It may not be a question you ask often, but take this chance to reflect and think about your response. And don’t worry – a Marley twist post is coming soon!

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8 Responses to “SELF-TRUST: Lessons Learned From A Set Of Marley Twists”

  1. naadii salaam January 15, 2013 at 11:56 am #

    hey, thanks for posting this! I saw your spotlight on curly nikki today and wanted to ask you how many twists you wound up with total, and also how many strands of marley hair you used per twist. i was guessing two, but wanted to know for sure.

    looking good! thanks for any diy insight you can provide :-)

    • Bee January 15, 2013 at 10:53 pm #

      No problem! I ended up with about 30 twists, and used 2 strands of Marley hair per twist. Hope that helps! Thanks :)

  2. Sherrell November 9, 2013 at 7:30 am #

    This post gave me life! I’ve been debating on whether or not I can do Marley Twists on my own, and I was losing the argument lol. I finally decided that I will, but I was still reluctant. Reading this has encouraged me to trust in my styling abilities. I read this and said to myself “wow this sounds just like me!” So thank you for this inspiring post! Now I can’t wait to start!

    • Bee November 11, 2013 at 4:17 pm #

      Yay! I’m so glad it gave you a shot of confidence! I’m almost ready to reinstall them myself – hope yours turn out great!

  3. Tiesha January 4, 2014 at 12:46 pm #

    I love this post!

  4. kris January 13, 2014 at 9:22 am #

    Thanks for this post!! I just got mine done yesterday at the stylist and while they look great…it’s not the Marley’s that I wanted as these are bulky and heavy. I should’ve had less twists and bigger sections! You’re giving me the confidence to speak up, and maybe even try this myself!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT! Bee’s Marley Twist Tutorial | '83 To Infinity - January 8, 2013

    [...] styling. After getting some Senegalese twists done last month that only lasted me a few days, I learned how to do my beloved Marley twists, all by myself! I promised that I would do an updated post the next time I installed them, so here [...]

  2. IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT! Bee’s Marley Twist Tutorial | Three Naturals - January 11, 2013

    [...] styling. After getting some Senegalese twists done last month that only lasted me a few days, I learned how to do my beloved Marley twists, all by myself! I promised that I would do an updated post the next time I installed them, so here [...]

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