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May 2, 2013 

GLAMOUR & INSPIRATION: 31st Annual Harry Jerome Awards Recap

Whew! I feel like I’m just NOW starting to get back to normal after my crazy hectic weekend! One of the events I’d been looking forward to for a while was the 31st Annual Harry Jerome Awards, and it went down this past Saturday at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. I was a first-time attendee AND the official blogger for the night, so I was excited to get dolled up and hit the scene!

Ready for an insider’s view? Here we go!

First things first, I had to get my hair situation handled. I headed down to my friends at Curl Bar Beauty Salon and tried out a new sleek, ponytailed look:

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I pulled out an old dress from my closet, touched up my red toenail polish in the car like a real G would, and I was ready to go!

The Harry Jerome Awards (organized by the Black Business and Professional Association) is a feature event in Toronto every year, honouring excellence in the Black Canadian community. I was looking forward to meeting some of the award winners who I interviewed last week, watching performances from awesome Canadian talent like Ray Robinson and Belinda Brady, and networking with the other attendees in the house.

Prior to the main event, I got to peruse the silent auction (that had items like autographed Mike Tyson gloves, art, and Bulova watches), I was interviewed for BBPA’s YouTube channel, and got to catch up with some friends who were both in attendance and volunteering. And let me tell you – people showed OUT at the Harry Jerome Awards! Suits, gowns, the works – everyone that I saw came correct, and I loved the eye candy of all kinds!

Silent auction art

Silent auction art

Tyson gloves and photo

Tyson gloves and photo

After a bit of confusion, I finally got to my seat to enjoy dinner and the show. Political bigwigs like Premiere Kathleen Wynne and Tory leader Tim Hudak were in attendance, and I was impressed at the large-scale production around the awards. Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper attended a year or two ago, so I knew this wouldn’t be a small affair – but it was still impressive to experience in person.

After a series of opening speeches and performances, we got into the awards ceremony, and I really liked the way it was done. Representatives from either the specific field or from the corporate body sponsoring the award would introduce the recipient – instead of having to endure a nervous, long-winded speech, we watched a pre-recorded speech from each winner that showcased them at their best and most relaxed. Then, the winner came out on stage to receive their award and smile for all the cameras. I thought that was a very smart way to go about it – there’s nothing worse than a painfully nervous speaker, or one who “didn’t prepare a speech” and subjects the audience to an excruciatingly long acceptance. The awards ceremony moved along well, and save for a few low points, was full of energy that made you want to pay attention.

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As full-length as I could get.

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One of my pieces was published in the Harry Jerome Awards program book!

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Art piece by Mark Stoddart – Dr. Carlos on the left, Harry Jerome on the right.

HomieLoverFriend and I

HomieLoverFriend and I

A live auction was also worked into the awards, and given that I’ve never been to an auction before, I found it very interesting. You best believe I stayed still as a statue when the bidding was going on – I’ve seen one too many sitcoms where someone sneezes or stretches, and all of a sudden they’ve bid on a $5000 painting. At that point in the night, I was dying for a bathroom break – but there was no way I was going to move while those big ticket items were up for grabs!

Dr. John Carlos (who I interviewed last year) was the keynote speaker, and was the highlight of my night. He spoke about knowing Harry Jerome back in their Olympic track days, and also about the type of man Harry Jerome was. After doing my own research on Mr. Jerome, it was refreshing to hear a first-hand account of this incredible man. Plus, I just love Dr. Carlos, so I was happy all around.

Dr. Carlos and I!

Dr. Carlos and I!

As if listening to his keynote wasn’t enough – imagine my glee when my friend Mark Stoddart introduced me to Dr. Carlos himself? THAT became the highlight of the night, and I’m still basking in the compliments he gave me about enjoying our interview and being impressed with how thorough I was. He said “I thought to myself, ‘Damn! This girl did her homework!’” and that just fueled me even further to keep doing good work.

All in all, it was quite the night. It would have been perfect if there was more of an opportunity to interact and network with the special guests and attendees, but it was inspirational to be around so many people who are doing so much good work in our community. I left motivated to do amazing work – and hey, who knows. I might just snag a Harry Jerome Award of my own one day!

Did you attend the Harry Jerome Awards? If so, what did you think of the night?

 

April 26, 2013 

HARRY JEROME AWARDS: 7 Questions With Award Winner Anne-Marie Woods

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The 31st Annual Harry Jerome Awards are one day away, and I couldn’t be more excited! As part of my official HJA blogger duties, I’ve been posting interviews with various award and scholarship winners – and today I’m hittin’ y’all with one more before the big night!

The Harry Jerome Awards celebrate excellence in the African-Canadian community in all different arenas, and today I’m highlighting Anne-Marie Woods, winner of the G98.7FM Excellence in Entertainment Award.

Anne-Marie a.k.a. Amani is an actor, poet, singer, writer, artist educator, producer, and creative consultant. With a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Theatre from Dalhousie University, Woods has used her talents to achieve some incredible feats. Performances at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival, opening for legends like Maya Angelou and Roy Ayers, and headlining at the world-famous Nuyorican cafe in New York City are some of the items on her resume. She is a resident Artist Educator at Young People’s Theatre, created a theatre outreach program for youth called Word Up and continues to give back to the community via workshops on literacy, anti-bullying, and diversity at schools and organizations around the world. Without further ado, let me take it away to Ms. Woods, who tells us a bit more about herself in my 7 Questions series.

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Tell us a bit about your business and what you do. Also, what is one interesting or little-known fact about you?

Imani Enterprises is the name of my company and it was founded in Halifax, Nova Scotia in 1994 as a response to the need for positive cultural programming with an arts education focus. I moved to Toronto in 2000 and my company has continued to evolve over the years. We are now a Global Arts Education Service that introduces creativity as a means of communication and outreach. We provide creative and innovative services to individuals, schools, community based organizations and corporations. Our services are designed to help our clients realize that arts and creativity can add to a better quality of life and we make our clients part of the creative process. I am also currently in the middle of developing my third diversity presentation contract for TJX Canada/Winners Distribution Centre in Mississauga and Brampton, Ontario.

As a multi-disciplinary artist I am a: singer, writer, dancer, spoken word artist, producer and artist educator.  I started my company and often have to deal with the many misconceptions about what being a professional artist actually means. My degree is in theatre, I have an SEB Small Business Certificate, and years of experience as a professional performer.

In the 90’s I  founded the Imani Women’s Artistic Project, a theatre program developed for young women in Nova Scotia aged 16-25 to enhance their self-esteem through theatre and performance art.  In 2011 during my Artist Educator Residency at Young People’s Theatre I started I started the Word Up Spoken Word and Theatre Youth Outreach Program and have directed three productions – the first two at YPT and then the last one this February as part of Kuumba at Harbourfront Centre.  So, the question is: how do I earn my living when I do so many different things?  To me it’s simple. I teach, write, act, produce, perform and create. I will focus on three major projects a year and I make sure that my work is excellent which is why I have recurring clients.  I have been teaching theatre at Young Peoples Theatre for five years now and have also done work for various schools and school boards repetitively since I moved here in 2000.

One interesting or little known fact about me is that I have been on my own in every way since I was in grade 12. So, I know the true meaning of success through hard work, of finding a way to be able to put myself through University and finding my way from a very young age. It’s why I have that fighting entrepreneurial spirit to this day.  Another fun little known fact is that I started out as a rapper and won the first major Rap Contest in Nova Scotia held at George Dixon Community Centre in 1986.

What was your first reaction when you heard you won your Harry Jerome Award? What did your family/friends/colleagues think?

My reaction getting the news was probably a bit out of the ordinary (just ask Angelina [Harry Jerome Award Chair] who called me). I was taking a nap because I had a performance that evening for the Viola Desmond Awards. My phone rings and this lady says “Hi, this is Angelina Williams and I’d like to congratulate you for winning the Harry Jerome Award for Excellence in Entertainment!” To which I responded…“huh?” so she repeated herself, and then I said “What um uh…is this a real phone call?” She laughed and assured me the call was real. So, I was definitely completely thrown off guard, and I stayed that way for a few weeks – probably until the actual Media Launch in March. My family is proud of me, including my siblings in Nova Scotia and my family back home in Trinidad. I have had emails and support phone calls from various key members of the Black Community in Nova Scotia as well.

My cousin who has never been to Toronto is coming up to support me the night of the event, my niece will also be there and 2 of my good friends bought their tickets right away. My really good friend Tara was also proud, and the youth that I work with also gave me props. It’s been an interesting journey for me. But the praise I also listened to was the congrats and well deserved comments from the many mentors in my life…that was definitely a good feeling. And of course the public congrats from Diaspora Dialogues on Twitter and their website and also from the Playwrights Guild of Canada made me smile deeply when I ran across them online.

The one feeling I didn’t know I would have was a bit of sadness having lost a sister to lupus and my mother to breast cancer, and it made me sad to think they aren’t here to experience this. However, that soon passed and I feel that their spirits will be with me on the 27th smiling and cheering me on.

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Have you been to the Harry Jerome Awards before? If so, what was one of your top memories of the event?

I have never attended the event outside of being a performer, and that is primarily due to me being self-employed. In the year 2002 I opened up the Harry Jerome Awards with a poem I wrote for the event called I Am Canadian. It was a take on the beer commercials that were on at that time, but I made it about African Canadian History. That poem earned me a lot of recognition in Toronto and I performed it at many galas, conferences and events for the rest of that year, and to date I have integrated into one of my artivational speeches “Why Black History Month is for Everyone”. I remember being nervous because I opened up the entire award show… but I had the full support of the audience for that performance and it was exhilarating!

What are you most looking forward to at this year’s awards? Is there anyone you’re looking forward to meeting?

I am looking forward to sharing this special night with my cousin and niece and my good friends that will be attending. I am also looking forward to sharing the night with the other recipients and hoping to really be able to connect with them though we represent so many different walks of life. When I was at the Media Launch in March what I truly loved about the recipients was that amongst us there are those who are well recognized for their contributions and there are a few of us that are unsung Sheroes and I really liked that element… that perhaps some of us who are involved in grass roots work may not be the type of person that is normally recognized.

I also hope that there will be youth in attendance who will find each of our stories motivational and inspirational.  As far as looking forward to meeting anyone, I really am just looking forward to living, breathing, and taking in the entire experience because it is a true blessing.

What do you feel is the significance of the Harry Jerome Awards in today’s African-Canadian community?

Having also performed at the Awards last year, as well as having to look up the history of Harry Jerome, I feel that knowing our history is so important. A few ladies in my church were friends with Harry Jerome so since this happened I got to hear about the type of person he was, how he truly cared about community and was humble. I feel that by recognizing individuals through his name we are keeping the history of his story alive in Canada. It is so important to let our HIS stories and HER stories continue to live!

What does winning this Harry Jerome Award mean to you personally?

Personally, this means that for those of us who are self-made, and who may have been voted least likely to succeed when we were younger because of our skin colour or behavioural issues, that we can persevere through anything and gain recognition. It means that the little girl who came to Nova Scotia from Trinidad that they wanted to kick out of nursery school for telling the kids scary stories had a future after all. It means that dedicating my life to performing and working with youth and always being diligent and excellent in my artistic endeavours has proven to be a good thing. It means that I am glad I have always faced my fears or else I would still be sitting in a room in Nova Scotia dreaming about many of the places I’ve traveled or performed or taught. I have always been one to face my fears even when I was truly afraid to make that phone call or pursue that festival or showcase – I would never let that fear stop me. Finally it means that even when we think no one is paying attention…someone out there is, so always be mindful of what messages you are putting out there. I am a product of my family, my culture, Nova Scotia, Trinidad, my education and my miseducation. So it means that if I can live dreams especially doing this on my own, then anyone can!

Finally, what is your key to success?

My key to success is my sticktoitiveness, my perseverance, and my ability to never take no as an answer. My key to success is also having faith and a huge sense of humour to get me through the challenging and difficult life moments. I believe in what I’m doing, have done and will continue to do.  I will continue to be organized, focused, driven and never see my confidence or the successes that are yet to come as a negative. And I will continue to live by my daily Mantra “Work Hard, Play Hard, Rest Hard, Pray Hard!”

Keep up with Anne-Marie via her Imani Enterprises site! Will you be at the Harry Jerome Awards tomorrow night? If so, make sure we meet! If not, keep up with my Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram as I capture the night – and tune in to Caribbean Connections TV for a live feed of the blue carpet at the awards! Stay tuned for more awards fun! 

April 25, 2013 

HARRY JEROME AWARDS: 7 Questions With Award Winner Dr. Nadine Wong

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 Achievement.

Contribution.

Excellence.

Among this year’s Harry Jerome Award recipients, these three characteristics are commonalities that cannot be ignored. Honouring success within the African-Canadian community, the Harry Jerome Awards prominently highlight those who have displayed achievement, contribution, and excellence in their respective fields.

The BBPA has chosen to feature a few of the 2013 award-winners, allowing them to share their stories and tell us a bit more about themselves. Dr. Nadine Wong is this year’s Sterling Dental Excellence in Health Sciences Award winner.

Dr. Wong is an immigrant of Jamaica, who has resided in Canada for over 20 years. CEO of Alabaster Wellness Clinic, author, and creator of Alabaster cosmetic ointment, Dr. Wong has taken her love of health, wellness, and beauty to new heights.

With Doctorates in Cosmetology and Trichology, General Practice Psychotherapist and Clinical Psychotherapy degrees, a diploma in Hairdressing, and certificates in Psychology, Interpersonal Group Skills, and Black Hair Dressing, Dr. Wong is an expert in her converging fields of holistic wellness – healing the mind, body, and soul.

In 2010, Dr. Wong founded the Alabaster Charity, which focuses on enhancing children’s education in third world countries. The charity was founded under the vision and mission that no child living in poverty or who was less fortunate should feel behind in their education due to a lack of resources.

With all that Dr. Wong has accomplished, it’s no wonder that she has been awarded the Sterling Dental Excellence in Health Sciences Award at this year’s Harry Jerome Awards! Here are Seven Questions with Dr. Nadine Wong:

BEE: Tell us a bit about your business and what you do. Also, what is one interesting or little-known fact about you?

DR. WONG: My business is a unique blend of wellness through the scientific studies of hair, mind, and nutrition. A little-known fact about me is that I am a philanthropist who loves to take the time to smell the roses.

 

BEE: What was your first reaction when you heard you won your Harry Jerome Award? What did your family/friends/colleagues think?

DR. WONG: I cried, praying tears of overwhelmed joy and thanksgiving, for there were no words to frame and express that moment. Family and friends stated [that the award was] timely and well deserved.

 

BEE: Have you been to the Harry Jerome Awards before? If so, what was one of your top memories of the event? 

DR.WONG: Approximately four or five years ago I was a busy volunteer at the Harry Jerome Awards, and in spite of my tasks I was moved and motivated by the keynote speaker, then Governor General Michaëlle Jean.

 

BEE: What are you most looking forward to at this year’s awards? Is there anyone you’re looking forward to meeting?

DR. WONG: It would be a pleasure to meet and make contact with everyone, if possible.

 

BEE: What do you feel is the significance of the Harry Jerome Awards in today’s African-Canadian community? 

DR. WONG: The significance of the Harry Jerome Awards is that we as African-Canadians are still focused on unity of talent, gifts, strength, and love that can only encourage us never to give up on self or each other.

 

BEE: What does winning this Harry Jerome Award mean to you personally?

DR. WONG: Personally, this award confirms that my gifts made room for me to be the recipient, and it’s empowering.

 

BEE: Finally, what is your key to success?

DR. WONG: The key to success is don’t be afraid to be successful.

 

Dr. Nadine Wong accepts her award at the 31st Annual Harry Jerome Awards on April 27th at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. To connect with her and learn more about her work, please visit the Alabaster Wellness Clinic website.

Still planning on getting your ticket to the event? Visit the Harry Jerome Awards website! See you on the 27th! 

April 24, 2013 

HARRY JEROME AWARDS: 1 On 1 With BBPA Scholarship Winner Heather Tay

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This coming Saturday, I’ll be attending the Black Business and Professional Association’s (BBPA) 31st Annual Harry Jerome Awards, and I’m SO excited! Never mind that it’s my first time attending this event – it’ll be even more special since I’ve been named the Harry Jerome Awards’ official blogger!

If you aren’t familiar, the Harry Jerome Awards is an event held here in Toronto to honour the achievements of Black Canadians in a variety of fields. The awards are named after Harry Jerome – one of Canada’s famed Olympic athletes whose social consciousness and civic works matched the impact he made on the track. Every year since 1982, this illustrious awards ceremony has recognized excellence in the Black Canadian community. Amazing people like Tonya Lee Williams, Trey Anthony, and Ben Johnson all call themselves Harry Jerome Award alumni, and this Saturday, more names will be added to the list.

As the official blogger for the Harry Jerome Awards, I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing current winners, past winners, and even a past BBPA scholarship winner. Today,  I want to share one of my features so that you can get a feel of what the Harry Jerome Awards and scholarships are all about. So without further delay, meet Heather Tay – a past BBPA Scholarship winner!

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Here’s Heather’s impressive bio:

Heather is technology executive with a passion for design.  In the midst of a career change, Heather consults with and is part of the Advisory Board for the Israeli based mobile start-up tawkon.  She is on the board of OCADU’s (Ontario College of Art and Design University’s) Imagination Catalyst creative industries incubator in Toronto where she now lives. She also serves on the Board of Directors for ODC/Dance in San Francisco, currently holding the position of board secretary.

Prior to that, Heather was Vice President, Client Services for The Nielsen Company’s Telecom Practice Group (former tech start-up Telephia) in San Francisco.  There she led teams in providing market research and business insight to senior management clients at companies including AT&T, Sprint, Bell Canada, Telus, RIM and Rogers Wireless.  Her focus has been on strategic revenue growth for mobile service providers and handset manufacturers.

Before joining Nielsen, Heather was a management consultant at Adventis advising telecommunications companies on international expansion strategies, market growth and business plan creation.

Prior moving to San Francisco, Heather spent a year in London, England at a Nortel joint-venture start-up marketing their new Internet access technology solution to energy companies, which included time in Iceland helping to secure their first client.  She spent other brief stints living in Copenhagen and Paris consulting for companies such as Bang & Olufsen.  Prior to that, Heather was at Nortel Networks in Toronto where she led manufacturing operations teams whilst contributing part-time to the development of Nortel’s diversity strategy and training programs.

Heather holds an MBA from McGill University and an honors degree in Electrical Engineering from the University of Waterloo in Canada.  She is deeply grateful for her Barbadian and Ghanaian parents who provided structure, guidance and exposure to many amazing opportunities.

Tell us 3 interesting/little-known facts about yourself.

1. I speak a little Danish – just enough to entertain a three year old.

2. I ride motorcycles. My last bike was a 750cc Ducati Monster in matte black. Now in the summers I get around in a cute little Vespa scooter.

3. I am a big believer in personal development – education outside the standard classroom.  I’ve pursued development through Landmark Education, PAX Programs, and mindfulness training among others.  This, alongside formal education, has had a huge impact on who I am and where I am today.

What year did you win the Scholarship?

In 1986 I believe.  I graduated high school in 1987 so that should be right.  It was a long time ago.

What subjects did you pursue?

I studied Electrical Engineering at the University of Waterloo, graduating in 1992.  I later went on to complete my MBA in International Business at McGill University.
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What did winning the Scholarship mean to you?

It meant recognition for the work and focus I had put in in high school.  When studying long hours I sometimes questioned “Why? What’s the point?” It was encouraging for me to have my efforts be seen (and rewarded) outside of my immediate circles.

What advice do you have for other scholarship winners in terms of pursuing their dreams?

Do it!  And learn as much as you can about your dreams through lots of different channels.  Go talk to people, try out internships, go to conferences (many offer student discounts), shadow a person in that field.  The more you learn, the better you’ll be able to see if your dream aligns with you and what you really want.  As you find out more along the way, don’t be afraid to update what you dream about doing.  Nothing is fixed in stone.

What do you think needs to be done for our youth?

Exposure, exposure, exposure – to different people, different cultures, different professions, different religions, different ways of living.  One of the quickest ways to expand one’s world is to see how other people live, what’s important to them, what choices they make and the impact of those choices. It will help youth to expand their knowledge and in-turn what they dream about doing with their own lives.

Where do you see yourself in the next 5-10 years?

These days it is getting harder and harder to predict where one will be in future.  I hope to be combining my love for design with my background in business and technology, ultimately helping people to see beauty in their everyday lives.

Heather Tay is a shining example of what passion, dedication, and recognition can accomplish. Assisting youth to find their passion, motivating them to stay dedicated to their development, and recognizing their achievements are all crucial to their future. Thanks to the BBPA scholarships, more students have the chance to follow in Heather’s footsteps and become our communities’ next success story! Are YOU going to this year’s Harry Jerome Awards? I hope to see you there!  

April 9, 2013 

MEETING SADE: What An 8-Year-Old Taught Me About Natural Hair Love

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This past Saturday, I attended the 1st Annual Trust 15 Fundraising Gala event here in Toronto. Trust 15 is a community initiative in the Rexdale neighbourhood comprised of two gender-specific programs for youth called Ladies On The Rise and Men of Distinction. The initiative uses guest mentors and group activities to instill values, teach social and life skills, and encourage education – and it gives youth an outlet and support that may otherwise be unavailable to them.

I mentored with the Ladies On The Rise late last year and was SO happy to support them at their fundraiser, which showcased the amazing skills and confidence the students had gained throughout the program. There were so many magical moments throughout the night, but one of my top picks came just as I was about to leave, when I ran into this cutie named Sade:

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She caught my eye earlier in the night, and I thought she was extremely adorable with her little doll and her kinks and curls. As I gathered my clutch and coat at the end of the event, I noticed her standing with her mom right beside me. I don’t like to make a habit of praising little girls solely on their looks, but I felt compelled to give her a hair compliment – so I sidled my way over, said hello to her mother, then told her I just HAD to tell her how much I loved her hair. Her response? In the cutest voice ever, she looked up and said “I love YOUR hair!” We shook hands, introduced ourselves, and pretty much became BFFs.

We spent the next few minutes talking about our favourite hairstyles (she’s partial to pinned-up mohawks), pet peeves (broken hair elastics and lost bobby pins), and some of our favourite hobbies (like me, she had fun doing fashion shows and modeling). Her mom was super cool and allowed me to get a pic with my mini-me, and we laughed about how similar her and I were. Don’t you see it in the photo? The hair? The coats? The scarves? It was baffling.

Commercial break! Have you entered to win a ticket to The Mystic Effect? Check this post and tell me about your favourite piece of art! 

In recent discussions with other natural hair wearers, transitioners, and those contemplating making the change, there’s often a focus on the negatives of natural hair. Whether it’s complaints about texture, comparisons to others, or negative connotations about women who wear their hair naturally, I’ve been feeling unnecessarily burdened with having to defend my natural hair. Having said that, it was SO refreshing to speak with someone (in this case, an 8 year old with an effervescent personality) who exhibited a crazy amount of love of and pride in her own natural hair.

Do we do enough to instill that same love and pride with the kids in our lives? As y’all know, I don’t have my own yet, but the nieces and nephews and god-children and close friends’ kids in my life get a full dose of love from me. They need to feel proud of the skin and hair they’re in, so that when the pressures to change start to build upon them, they’re able to firmly push back. I don’t think I would have been as proud of my hair when I was Sade’s age. By 8, I was starting to ask my mom if I could have my hair “straight and swingy”, and she finally gave in when I was 12. When I see a young girl rocking her natural hair, I remember how affirmed I would have felt if another fly natural gave me a thumbs up or a sincere compliment – therefore I do the same. You don’t have to look too far into society to find an example of Black beauty being disregarded, mocked, or fetishized. A tap on the shoulder and an “I just wanted to say I love your hair!” is my small way to fight back and either plant the seed or water the plant of self-love and acceptance.

I’m not sure if little Sade realized she was such an inspiration, but she was. That bubbly personality and strong sense of self were nothing short of invigorating. She reminded me of Nikki Giovanni’s quote: “…And he said: you pretty full of yourself ain’t chu. So she replied: show me someone not full of Herself and I’ll show you a hungry person.” The Dos Equis dude may tell you to “Stay thirsty, my friends” – but let’s be like Sade and never be hungry.

How do the young people in your lives showcase their self-love? Are your young natural hair-wearers proud of their kinks and curls? How do you help to instill self-love and pride in young people?

Don’t forget to enter my contest to win a ticket to The Mystic Effect! 

February 21, 2013 

SHY STORIES: Confidence & Coming Out Of Your Shell

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A couple of weeks ago, I found myself in familiar territory, but doing very unfamiliar things.

I was sitting in front of my laptop (as usual), my “idea notebook” open with loose pages strewn around me (as usual), tapping my foot and bopping my head to Jay-Z like I do when I’m in work mode (as usual). However, instead of crafting a new blog post or working on a pitch like I might usually be doing, I was working simultaneously on an audition tape and an application to speak at an upcoming conference. For both submissions, I had to go through the awkward process of crafting a biography detailing the work I’ve done.

Now – I could write a whole post detailing the somewhat dual identity I have in life. There’s the woman who goes to work Monday-Friday from approximately 9am-5pm, and then there’s the woman who writes blogs and gets articles published by Chatelaine and speaks on panels and does social media consulting – but I won’t go there today. Work in this instance was work related to the latter-described woman, and as I started documenting all of the non-9-to-5 I’ve done, especially the various speaking engagements I’ve had, I realized something that made me almost giddy.

I’m definitely not the same woman I used to be.

I have always described myself as shy. My parents tell me I was a ham of a baby, and the pictures show it – but my shyness started when I got admitted to a performing arts school in Grade 4. I loved the arts and did well in school – but I usually hated having any kind of attention on me, which has persisted for most of my life. I’ve become used to drawing attention to myself – being a 6-foot tall Black woman with hair and heels that add another few inches usually makes people take notice – but I’ve rarely ever been comfortable enough in my skin to just relax and let it be.

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Public speaking was one of those things that was a major “hell to the nawl” for me. Take, for instance, the speech competitions we had to do in school. I always had so much fun writing them, but the week of speeches left me with a churning stomach and cold sweats until I finally stammered through my piece and booked it back to my desk.

When it came to public speaking, there were so many things I wasn’t confident about. Would I be able to get my words out effectively? Would I sound smart? Would I be interesting? Would I get that yucky pasty white stuff in the corners of my mouth? Would a curse word slip out? Would my habit of talking with my hands get so out of control that it looks like I’m trying to fly away? So many questions, so many concerns, so little confidence.

It’s almost been a year since the first speaking engagement I got as Bee the blogger – not Bee the student or Bee the employee. The first speaking engagement where someone thought I personally represented something of value, and thought I would have something of value to share with them and their circle. Since then, I’ve done panels and podcasts and co-hosted webshows – and it wasn’t until recently that I felt little Bee tug my sleeve and said, “Do you see what you’re doing?” In my mind, I looked back at her, held her hand, and said, “Yes I see it – and I’m doing it, aren’t I?”

Then, while drafting my biography, I realized that the difference between little Bee and big Bee – confidence.

I’ve been feeling a lot more confident these days – much more than I recall feeling previously in life. I feel a change in the way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I choose who is and isn’t given the priviledge of being in my space. That confidence has slowly become intertwined in the things I do on a daily basis, and now I find myself much more willing and excited to do something that used to make me physically ill – public speaking. Fears of how I am perceived, received, and understood haven’t completely subsided, but those fears are no longer as crippling as they used to be.

The fact that I came to this revelation while submitting an application to speak at a conference (what?) and while submitting an audition tape (WHAT?) is really mind-boggling. Little Bee is somewhere watching and laughing – not at me, but more in amazement at what I’m doing (and trying to do) these days. Coming out of my shell, getting over fears, and having fun with the result makes it all worth it.

Have you been able to get over any specific fears in your life? How much has increased confidence affected fears you once held? 

February 11, 2013 

DOPE READS: Britni Danielle’s Break Out Of Your Box E-Book

When you’re on the track to success and pushing towards your goals and dreams, there’s nothing like having a support group of sincere and likeminded people behind you. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to have family and friends in our corner that push us along, but that isn’t always the case.

Here’s where I’ve found social media has stepped in to save the day. A loooong time ago, I started following writer Britni Danielle on Twitter. I loved the links she posted to her writings, and soaked up the advice she graciously doled out for other aspiring writers and dreamers. When she began mentioning that she was creating a Facebook group called the GOALDiggers (ha!) Project, I made sure I was one of the first to join in. Since then, the GOALDiggers group has served as an awesome sounding board for advice, a place where I can toot my horn, an understanding group where I can vent frustrations, and an environment where I can encourage and help others in their goal attainment as well.

Britni also served as my writing coach for a few sessions, and the knowledge and advice she gave me was priceless. As a writer for publications like Clutch Magazine, JET, Ebony and others, I knew I had to absorb what she had to offer – and her advice has helped me tremendously with my own writing.

In a day and age where people seem to selfishly hoard who they know, what they know, and how they do what they do, Britni is one of the most unselfish and giving success stories I know. While she will humbly say she’s still on her way, I can definitely say she has achieved a level of success many of us will never know – she took charge of her life, created her own lane, and is doing what she loves while taking care of herself and her family. Now, Britni has found a new way to give to those of us who need a push forward with our goals – her new free e-book, Break Out Of Your Box: 5 Steps To Start Following Your Dreams!

As a member of the GOALDiggers Project, I was able to get my hands on a preview copy late last week. I took the time to read and ingest the beautifully written and designed book, and LOVED it.

Want to get a copy for yourself? Click here!

As per Britni’s site, this book covers:

  • How to get clear about your vision
  • How to network with others who will support your dream
  • Why you need to give yourself a concrete deadline
  • How to set measurable goals to achieve your dream
  • How to overcome the need to be perfect
  • Resources to get your started on your journey

I read it, took notes, evaluated what I was currently doing and how I was doing it, and decided to make some tweaks to my game plan based on Britni’s thoughts and examples. At just 30 pages, Break Out Of Your Box is a clear-cut, entertaining, and motivating read that will really start to get your juices flowing and get your wheels turning. Even better – any book that uses a Biggie line as its dedication is good as gold in my eyes!

If you’ve been looking for a way to start making ANY kind of positive change in your life, try Break Out Of Your Box as a guide. Acknowledging that you want better for yourself is the first step – but that self-revelation will be in vain if you don’t start taking the steps towards initiating those improvements! Put Break Out Of Your Box on your must-read list, and get to work! Hey – you can even make it one of your 5 Before 8 and get your day started right ;)

Check out Britni Danielle’s site, and spread the word about her book via social media and email! Have any questions for Britni? Reach out to her via email (Britni@BritniDanielle.com), follow her on Twitter, and check out the GOALDiggers Project Group on Facebook! 

February 5, 2013 

MORNING GLORY: The New Way I’m Going To Start My Day

In my old age (sigh…30 is coming – I kid, I kid), I’m learning that certain things about myself are changing. I used to be able to write on my laptop in my living room with nary a break in concentration. Now, I need a dedicated workspace to focus and get things done. I used to be able to work and study with friends, and now I do my best learning when I’m solo. I used to (in high school/university days) be able to stay up late and wake up at the crack of dawn, ready for the day. This last one is what has changed the most, and it’s the one I need to work on in order to save my sanity and productivity.

These days, I stay up too late and end up hitting snooze over and over in the morning. Getting out of bed in the morning is a challenge, and that challenge leads me to start my day off on a frantic and panicked ohmyGodwhattimeisitwherearemykeysIdon’thavetimeforbreakfast note. Last year, I did the Happy Black Woman’s 31 Days To Reset Your Life Challenge, and one of the daily tasks was to take an audit of your day. I clearly identified that I had a problem with staying up late and struggling in the morning, but I realized then, as I do now, that I have no one to blame but myself. The hours between 8am-5pm are generally reserved for the office, so I need to use the rest of the time that I have in a much better way.

On Saturday, I attended trey anthony’s Millionaire Artist Workshop (I interviewed trey prior to her first workshop last year) and LOVED it. trey is an accomplished writer, actor, producer, and all-around businesswoman, and returned to Toronto from her new home of Atlanta to motivate other artists who are in pursuit of their dreams. trey taught us about a tip that she learned from a mentor of hers: 5 Before 8. The 5 Before 8 trick is simple - do 5 things before 8am directly related to your career/dream/goal. Whether it’s sending an email, reading a passage from a book, working on a resume or a business plan, or doing some kind of research – be able to say that by 8am, you’ve done 5 things to push you forwards. In trey’s example, this has helped her get a jumpstart on things, because when other people might be getting started at 9am, she’s already been up and in the game. I heard her speak on it, I took notes, and I said to myself, “I’ve got to try that.”

trey also spoke about the importance of starting her day in the right way. Doing her 5 Before 8, meditating, positive affirmations, yoga, reading, talking to the right people (or making sure NOT to talk to the Negative Nellies first thing in the morning) – these are all things she does every day to get her day started off with purpose and positivity. I quickly realized while sitting in the workshop that that was what I was missing. I haven’t been starting my day with anything except HomieLoverFriend kicking me because my alarm is going off for the 2nd or 3rd time; and the mad rush filled with half-blind runs around the house, stubbed toes, curse words, and praying that there’s gas in the car. It’s no wonder that my days seem so stressful.

So, I’m determined to make a change. I realize now that the way I start my day is more important than how I end it. What I mean by that is at the end of the day, I have so many natural options of things that close out my day well. Writing, working out (I prefer evenings to mornings), quality time with the Mister/family/friends, a nice glass of wine, etc. The other thing I have to admit to myself is that I have a cutoff point at night where I go from hard-working to hardly working. That’s when I start checking Twitter or Facebook in-between “doing work”, and next thing you know, it’s after 1am and I have to schlep myself on to bed.

I’ve got to start putting in more effort to kick my days off well, so this night owl needs to become an early bird. Getting up early and starting my day with positivity and productivity might be the magic needed to help me feel more disciplined and just…good about things. It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?

I’m putting it here plainly, and as simple as it sounds, I hope it’s effective: My goal is to be productive, positive, and balanced. I will start going to bed at a decent hour, so that I can get up early enough to do my 5 Before 8 and make time for some real morning positivity. Maybe later on I’ll swing back to being a work demon in the late night hours, but until then, I’ll give this morning thing a try.

 Are you an early bird of a night owl? When do you feel the most productive? Do you start your days off positively, or are you like me in that you need to put a bit more effort into waking up on the right side of the bed? 

January 31, 2013 

FOLLOW THE PATH: How I Started Listening To Signs Around Me

One of my favourite things in the entire world is when I get a sign that says, “Yes. You’re on the right path.”

As strange as it may sound, I tend to find confirmations or answers to my questions/dilemmas in lots of different ways. Sometimes I’ll be pondering a problem, and a song on the radio will start singing the answer back to me. Other times, I’ll have a vivid dream that gives me either a blatant or subdued message addressing something in my waking life. I may see a random quote on Twitter or Facebook, or might receive an email or text from a friend that reaffirms something and reminds me to keep pressing on. Regardless of method, I find that when I have a question on the brain a higher power will often throw a rock in my path, making me stumble and take notice that “Silly! The answer is right here!” Sometimes that power knows when I’ve been mulling over something, unsure of whether the next step is the right step, and I’ll get a gentle nudge that tells me I should have faith. Earlier this week, I got that very nudge – in one of the most awesome ways.

Last week, I entered a contest hosted by Daniella of The BHD to win a new Sony VAIO L-Series computer. In order to win, you had to craft the best response that explained exactly what you would use it for. I remember sitting in front of my laptop, looking at the 50+ responses that had already been entered, and thought – what would I use it for? My current desktop is an ancient relic by today’s standards, but that wasn’t the draw. For me, it would be a tool to help me go full steam ahead with some new plans brewing in the forefront of my mind. Here’s part of my entry response:

Over the past year, I’ve begun to undergo a transformation, and a big part of that has to do with my career goals and how I define success. I used to live solely with the intent of getting that next promotion or that corner office, but last year, I started re-discovering personal gifts that are showing me a new path.

In a lot of different ways, I’m learning to believe in myself. I’m learning to trust that my ideas are good ideas, that I am skillful, and that what I have to offer the world is valuable. I’ve been going through a cloudy identity crisis, possibly brought on by the fact that I’m almost 30 – but I’m starting to emerge from the other side of the fog, with my goals and intentions sharpening in focus. In our current fear-based society, it’s easy to limit ourselves and stay complacent – but I’ve started giving myself permission to say “I want more!” and then go get it.

My dreams have been crazy vibrant lately. Dreams of black cats, flying through outer space, being pregnant – every morning I’d wake up and head to Dream Moods to decipher what each one meant:

  • To see a black cat in your dream indicates that you are experiencing some fear in using your psychic abilities and believing in your intuition.
  • To dream of outer space represents your boundless creativity.
  • To dream that you are pregnant symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

I definitely have some new goals on the go – my dreams have shown me that I need to follow my intuition, embrace my creativity, and continue through the conception process to give birth to the new things I have in mind.

So, what does the Sony VAIO PC have to do with all this? Well, when I entered the contest, I thought that if I won, it would be another awesome cog in the wheel of Things Coming Together To Help Bee Acheive Her Goals. I’m creating a new dedicated home workspace to focus on my writing and work for other clients. I’ve gained opportunities that are leading me to develop new tech skills. In a weird way, I felt that winning this new computer would be another sign from the Universe telling me, “Yup – you’re on the right path. Now get to work and make it do what it do, baby.”

Guess what happened. I won.

After my shock and surprise and happy dancing and calling HomieLoverFriend and my mama to give them the news, I went back to read my entry. Thoughts of building side hustles, trying on the role of entrepreneur for size, giving myself permission to seek success through my passions and what I’m good at – all of those thoughts came flooding back, and I realized that now, I had to keep going. Someone thinks I’m on the right path, or I wouldn’t have had dreams of intution and creativity and goals. Someone thinks I’m on the right path, or I wouldn’t have won this PC after thinking about all the amazing things I would do if I won this PC.

HomieLoverFriend humours me when I talk to him about this kind of thing. I believe his logical-yet-goal-oriented brain hears what I’m saying and understands to an extent, but I think he chalks it up to just being one of the quirks that makes up the woman he fell in love with. A woman who gets signs from music; who won’t go back to sleep after a dream until she writes the details down in her bedside notebook; and who starts off too many conversations with “Do you know what it would MEAN if (insert possibly meaningful thing here) happened?”

Well, the latest possibly meaningful thing happened when I won that PC, and now it’s time to show and prove. I’m starting to see where all these dreams and signs and nudges are leading me, and I’m going with it.

I finished this post and wondered if it would make sense to ANYONE else who read it. Hopefully you get my overall point that there are often tons of signs around us that are guiding us or giving confirmation to the things we’ve been thinking about – consciously or subconsciously. Have you noticed any signs that are trying to help you out? Are you paying attention?

January 11, 2013 

SELF-LOVE: Planting The Seed To See What Blooms

Photo source: Taranco Wellness

Don’t you love personal revelations? That delicious moment when it feels like the fog clears, and sitting right there is a magnificent idea or confirmation of something awakening within you?

I recently had one such moment. This past Monday, I joined in on the Hot n Holistic Spreecast show with awesome special guest Dyana Valentine. The topic of the hour was timely for the beginning of the new year – making your goals stick in 2013. We talked all things resolutions, being realistic, dreaming big, finding a supportive circle and much, much more – but one poignant piece was when we discussed the role that self-love plays in the process of acheiving our goals.

The importance of self-love is something that has never been lost on me, but it was something that I (until recently) could only really pinpoint in others. I’ve known people whose self-deprecating jokes poorly masked a deep-set self-hatred. I’ve had friends who struggled with self-worth and esteem due to personal trauma. I’ve encountered people whose self-love was palpable – it illuminated them without even the faintest sense of arrogance or self-centredness. I can’t count how many times I’ve had conversations over wine with loved ones and used some variation of the phrase “you can’t fully love someone else until YOU love yourself” – but I’ve only recently turned the concept inward and assessed my own levels of self-love.

Insecurities, deep-rooted hurts, and confusing the positives of self-love with the negatives of selfishness all held me back in various ways. There have been moments when I’ve felt lower than low, and couldn’t find a thing about myself to celebrate or be proud of. Then, there have been times when I’ve said “Yeah, _______ is nice, but _______ is terrible!” when comparing aspects of myself. Then finally, there have been instances when I’ve felt damn good about myself, but second-guessed my self-love and turned the dial down so as to remain humble. I never wanted to come across as being full of myself.

Being full of yourself is an interesting idea. We make it sound so negative, don’t we? However, a wise woman by the name of Nikki Giovanni once wrote:

…And he said: you pretty full of yourself ain’t chu.

So she replied: show me someone not full of Herself and I’ll show you a hungry person.

Dyana Valentine said, “there’s something very sensual about this time” in regards to the newfound love of self she’s acquired. She admitted that she hasn’t been “a good girlfriend” to herself lately, and once that started to shift, so many other things did too. Those two points hit me sqaure in the chest, and when I came back across Giovanni’s quote on my Facebook profile, the deal was sealed. I think I’m good at loving the people in my life – but I don’t think I’m that great at loving myself. It’s time for that ship to sail.

Want to see the entire Spreecast show? Click here! You can see Dyana’s comments about self-love at around the 39-minute mark.

I feel that a lot of things have been churning below the surface, and now these things are bubbling up and telling me it’s time to step into that self-love, sensuality, and fullness of self. I’m inching closer and closer to 30, which everyone says is the decade of self-actualization and the beginning of not giving a damn what people have to say. I’m starting to really recognize my gifts and strengths, and I don’t want to wait until it’s too late to appreciate and revel in them. And to be honest, I’ve grown weary of the alternative – feeling bad about myself, feeling empty, and feeling low on worth and value.

I’m finally reconciling my thoughts on my previously held negative connotations of self-love: self-centredness, showing off, arrogance, and the like. What I’ve come to realize is that for me, those negatives all centre around the notion of forcing what I believe about myself onto others. Self-love is not about the brash exhibition of what makes you great. Self-love has nothing to do with anyone except you – the only effect it has on others is when they feel your self-assured, confident spirit and know that they’re not playing with a pushover. Self-love doesn’t take away from your ability to love and care for others – in fact, I believe it affords you an abundance of sincere love and support to mirror onto those in your circle. Without self-love, I found myself in relationships, friendships, and other situations which were not healthy, but I put up with them for one reason or another. With self-love, there isn’t room to put up with anything less than what you deserve, because you know what you deserve. Being full of yourself doesn’t mean you have no room for anyone else in your heart – it means you are living in healthy appreciation of who you are as a unique being. At least, that’s how I see it, and that’s the ride I want to be on for the rest of my life.

Self-love, like almost anything else, is a journey. It’s taken me a while to get to this point of realization, and it’s going to take time to fully immerse myself in the concept. I’m sure things along the way will challenge and test it, but I believe that if I can at least plant the seed now, I will always have the root of self-love within me – regardless of how hard the wind tries to blow the leaves off the tree. Making that decision to plant that seed and settle that root will likely be one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while, and I can’t wait to see what blooms.

What do you think of self-love? How do you define it? Do you think you’re living in self-love, or are you also on the journey? Don’t forget to tune into Hot N Holistic every Monday at 6pm EST on Spreecast for more special guests and discussion!

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