What’s your general reaction when good things start happening? Happiness or fear?
If you’re anything like me, it’s easier to trust the process when bad things happen in life vs. when good things happen. We come to expect the negatives in life and we look at the positives with skepticism, protecting ourselves in advance from unseen disappointment. It starts from childhood. In efforts to peel back that layer of naivete that makes us sitting ducks for the harsh realities of life, parents teach us that we’ll often tango with trials and tribulations – and we get used to it. We grow and expect it. We court the bad of life, giving in to the inevitable fact that the bad will always be a part of our existence.
This training is necessary. So many things in life have plans to either kill or strengthen you. Sometimes they shatter you and force you to rebuild yourself, but we’re constantly reminded to trust the process.
Trusting the process means acknowledging that bad things happen to good people. That life isn’t fair. That struggle and strife are meant to serve us a purpose, even if we can’t see that purpose upfront. We accept so much of the negative that sometimes the only positive we can embrace is the fact that we survive through it.
Surviving is vital, but what happens when we see an opportunity to thrive? Much of the time – if you’re anything like me – we don’t automatically trust that process. We’re reminded that all that glitters ain’t gold – but even when we’re handed gold, we’re reminded that things are often too good to be true. We inherently learn to be wary of goodness – and if you’re anything like me, the first thing that happens after a blessing is wondering when the winds will shift again, bringing us back to the struggles that we’re familiar with.
Lately, good things have been happening for me. I’m looking at life and seeing that some of the blessings, the things I’ve worked for, sacrificed for, and struggled towards are now coming to fruition. Sadly, my first instinct is to be afraid. Good things can feel like a trick, or a temporary sunny reprieve from the darkness I’ve become accustomed to. Good things are met with hesitation, and have to prove themselves to me before I’ll tentatively accept them into my life. I don’t want to be played for a fool – and the surest way to be fooled is to be deceived by shiny things that promised you happiness and satisfaction.
However, the surest way to block your blessings is to act like you don’t deserve them. If you believe that being blessed is foreign to your DNA or isn’t part of your birthright, you’ll be proven right. I realized this weekend that one of the saddest things I’ve ever done was being distrustful of the blessings that have come my way. How sad is it that it’s so hard to believe that we’re worthy of good? How sad is it to fear the recognition of good, lest we find bad around the next corner? How sad is it that the acceptance of the bad in life has taken up so much space that we have no room to accept the good? I don’t plan on embracing that pitiful paradigm for much longer.
I’ve seen some formidable lows in life, and I know that I could always end up there again. Today I choose to bask in my blessings, knowing that if/when things change, I can survive. Today I choose to bask in my blessings, knowing that they are part of my DNA and my birthright. Today I choose to bask in my blessings, knowing that as much as I’m made up of dark complexities, I’m also made up of stardust and success.
All this to say: start believing and trusting the process when good things happen. Celebrate the good things in life. Expect them. Know that they have a place in your world. Realize that luck is capricious and you aren’t merely “lucky’ when good things happen – you are worthy of them.
Now, go forth and embrace the good. It’s real, and it’s yours.