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December 6, 2012 

BLACK WOMEN & SNL: When Will We Be In On The Joke?

Danitra Vance, the first African-American woman to become a cast member on SNL

When I’m not out being a Saturday night social butterfly, you can catch me at home, curled up on the couch, tuned into Saturday Night Live. A recent Saturday was one of those homebody nights. As I chuckled at host Anne Hathaway’s portrayals of Claire Danes and Katie Holmes, and marveled at the Windows 98 screensaver effect of Rihanna’s “Diamonds” performance, I had a thought. Where are all the Black women on SNL?

For as long as I can remember, save for the comedic goddess that is Maya Rudolph, the only Black women I’ve seen on SNL were the musical guests – or the Black male cast members in drag. A look back at the history of SNL reveals that in the show’s 38-season run (first airing on October 11, 1975), there have been only 3 Black female cast members – Danitra Vance, Ellen Cleghorne, and the aforementioned Maya Rudolph. So, what gives?

Rudolph’s exit from the show was 5 years ago, but she has since been brought back a number of times for guest appearances, playing Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, and Beyonce in various skits. This seems to suggest that SNL sees the need for representation of Black women on the show, but they clearly haven’t done much to satisfy that need. In today’s world, Black women are Grammy-award winning pop stars, media moguls, First Ladies, TV show hosts, actresses, sports stars, and more. We are also mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, career women, dreamers, and anything that could be just as funny or as socially relevant as SNL’s current output. To virtually make Black women’s imprint on today’s society non-existent on a platform like SNL is highly negligent in my perspective. Even more cutting is when Black women are parodied, distorted, and exaggerated by Black men in drag. As a Black woman, that only leaves me feeling like the butt of the joke, not an active agent in the humour.

Hosting SNL is also a great vehicle for exposure. Halle Berry hosted back in 2003. Janet Jackson and Queen Latifah played host/musical guest double duty in 2004. Gabourey Sidibe was the last Black woman to host in early 2010. As per the records I found online, Black women have come and gone in short spurts in SNL hosting capacities. That’s not to say that there aren’t any Black women capable of hosting, that don’t have projects that need promotion, and that couldn’t benefit from showing off a well-known or unknown comedic side. I could see Kerry Washington on that stage. I could see Gabby Douglas on that stage. One day I hope that Tracee Ellis Ross has a big enough project to push to be on that stage, because I think she’d be fabulous. Let it be known that there are Black women in the limelight who can command the SNL stage, who can garner interest in the show, who can benefit from the experience – and who deserve the opportunity.

Going back to my original point – I am sure there is also no shortage of funny women – who happen to be Black – that could rock SNL as a regular cast member. Whether to touch on current news with our public figures, or simply to add diversity to a skit about regular people doing regular things, you would imagine that a forward-thinking show like SNL would recognize the value in this. During a conversation about this very topic on Twitter, I had a friend state that “maybe it’s a good thing,” expressing concerns that Black women may simply become the centre of stereotypical jokes on the show. In my mind, the pros of having Black women on SNL outweigh the cons – and how can we raise concerns about stereotyping when we’re barely represented in the first place?

As we roll into 2013, I look forward to more nights where I hang my social butterfly wings up for the weekend and curl up on the couch with my blanket and remote. I’m also looking forward to the day that Saturday Night Live gives Black women the platform and opportunity to share the funny voices that we possess.

Dear Lorne Michaels and the powers that be at SNL,

Let us in on the joke.

Signed,

Funny Black women everywhere.

Are you an SNL fan? What do you think of the diversity level on the show? Do you have any thoughts on the lack of representation of Black women on the show? If I’ve made any glaring omissions of Black women on the show, please let me know!

March 20, 2012 

Trayvon Martin: A Reminder That “Injustice Anywhere Is A Threat To Justice Everywhere”

 

Photo source

Martin Luther King Jr.’s quote is all too fitting today.

I’ve been contemplating for a long time about how to approach this post. You don’t know how many drafts have been conceived, edited, deleted, and re-written, but I feel such a strong connection to the story of Trayvon Martin’s murder, and I knew I had to use this site as an outlet.

By now, I would only hope that everyone reading this has already heard about Trayvon Martin. If not, I’ll give you the Coles’ notes edition: On February 26th, 2012, 17-year-old Trayvon was visiting his father and step-mother’s home in a gated community in Sanford, Florida. He left to walk to the corner store and purchased a bag of Skittles and a bottle of iced tea. As he walked back home, he encountered George Zimmerman, a 28-year-old Neighbourhood Watch captain. Zimmerman spotted Trayvon walking through the area and called 911 to report a “suspicious” person. He was instructed to remain in his home, and that 911 was dispatching officers to the area to investigate. Instead of heeding their advice, Zimmerman got in his SUV with his loaded gun and followed Trayvon. What happened next is unknown to everyone except Trayvon and Zimmerman, but within a matter of minutes, Zimmerman shot Trayvon. Police arrived on the scene to the boys’ dead body. Zimmerman admitted to the shooting but cried self-defense (they allegedly engaged in a physical altercation). Weeks later, Trayvon’s loved ones are still reeling from his death, and at the time of this post, Zimmerman has neither been charged nor arrested.

I’m not sure where to begin, and there aren’t enough synonyms for “angry” to describe how I feel. I’m pissed that when Trayvon’s father reported him missing, the cops chose to bring a photo the next day of their ‘John Doe’ with blood pouring out of his mouth. I’m incensed that Zimmerman’s pathology of paranoia allowed him to find a 17-year-old boy with a bag of Skittles and bottle of iced tea so threatening. I’m enraged that so many minorities have dreams of escaping the violence of the “hood” or the “ghetto”, yet moving on up like the Jeffersons brings it’s own new terrors. I am beside myself at the fact that a young, innocent boy is dead, and his killer is free – especially when we all know that if roles were reversed, there would be absolutely no mercy for Trayvon.

Florida college students rallying for Zimmerman's arrest

Photo source

I love the naïveté of people who believe we live in a post-racial society, or those folks who think that racism does not exist in Canada. I’ve called some of those people friends, acquaintances, and co-workers – and one thing they have in common is that they’ll never have to teach the young men in their lives how to act around police and other authority figures like I have. The same way society loves to remind women that it’s our responsibility to not get raped, society creates the same vortex in which Black men have to shoulder the responsibility to not get pulled over for a DWB (driving while Black), arrested or killed. Where is the demand for control from those who abuse authority, assault, and kill us? I’ve read that Trayvon shouldn’t have been wearing a hoodie, that he should have clearly explained to Zimmerman that he lived in the area, that he should have, should have, should have…I wish those people would instead see that Zimmerman should have listened when the 911 dispatcher advised him to stay home. Maybe then he wouldn’t have had to “defend himself” against a young Black boy armed with Skittles and iced tea. I’m not sure how you admit to pursuing someone and then hide behind the legal arm of self-defense when it becomes convenient. Between Trayvon and Zimmerman, who really needed defending?

Late last Friday, 911 calls from the day Trayvon was killed were released. I still haven’t been able to listen to the recordings, but all reports describe the same three things. Someone crying and pleading for help. A gunshot. Then complete silence. Zimmerman made sure to state once cops arrived that he “was calling for help and no one came” – but no one seems to believe that Zimmerman could have been the voice pleading for help on the recording. Community residents who placed 911 calls all described the voice of a child, and reports state that when Trayvon’s mother heard the recording, she ran from the room in horror. Cops stated that they have found no evidence to dispute Zimmerman’s claims of self-defense, so no action has been taken to arrest him. This is where things stand, nearly a month after Trayvon’s killing.

There are a few things that I wish:

  • I wish that my Facebook and Twitter feeds were flooded with Trayvon Martin details like they were when Kony hit the scene a few weeks ago.
  • I wish I had a better way of managing my rage when hearing about my husband being accosted by police because he “looked suspicious”, or my brother being followed and pulled over for no specific reason.
  • I wish I could ignore the fact that Blacks are consistently snatched up and put under the jail for far less than Zimmerman’s crime.
  • I wish that I didn’t do the ugly snort-laugh when people tell me that justice will be done. It hasn’t yet. I’m not holding my breath.
  • I wish that there wasn’t a racial division in response to this case (in my world). Compared to the reaction of minorities, a number of White friends/acquaintances were silent when I spoke about Trayvon. Sure – race might make you uncomfortable. But a child being murdered should garner something more than silence. If you were upset about Kony, you should be upset about this…
  • I wish Trayvon Martin wasn’t yet another name added to the list of Black males needlessly slaughtered like cattle. Oscar Grant, Sean Bell, Emmett Till…

I usually try to write my posts with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion (all you writing buffs don’t laugh at me if I don’t always succeed!), but this post was written freely and unapologetically. My response to Trayvon’s murder has been so organic, so primal, so cellular to my being, and I haven’t been able to shake it yet. We’ll see how things play out in the days to come, but I continuously send prayers out to Trayvon’s soul, the Martin family, and our society as a whole. Hopefully Trayvon will see that while his death was completely premature and wholly unnecessary, it will not be in vain.

Want more details on Trayvon’s story? Read here or here (or go ‘head on and see what that Google search function is hittin’ fo’). Looking for a way to get involved? Change.org is circulating a petition for the prosecution of George Zimmerman – if you’re so inclined, sign it here. Also, Twitter has started to mobilize a movement to write into Bill Lee’s office (Chief of Police in Sanford, FL) – for details on that (I will be writing my letter tonight) – go here.

Note: As of 11pm on Monday night, CNN reported that federal prosecutors and the FBI have finally opened an investigation into Trayvon’s murder.

Any thoughts on this case? Share them below. And as always, thank you for reading.  

January 18, 2012 

’83 To Infinity Is Joining The SOPA Strike

Today, ’83 To Infinity is joining the SOPA Strike. Because many sites that could provide background info are likely blacked out today in support of the strike, I’ll detail some key points here.

SOPA = the Stop Online Piracy Act, a bill that was introduced in the US House of Representatives last fall, and would allow the US government to “to seek court orders against websites accused of enabling or facilitating copyright infringement. Depending on who makes the request, the court order could include barring online advertising networks and payment facilitators from doing business with the allegedly infringing website, barring search engines from linking to such sites, and requiring Internet service providers to block access to such sites. The bill would make unauthorized streaming of copyrighted content a crime, with a maximum penalty of five years in prison for ten such infringements within six months. The bill also gives immunity to Internet services that voluntarily take action against websites dedicated to infringement, while making liable for damages any copyright holder who knowingly misrepresents that a website is dedicated to infringement.” (source)

Sounds great for protection in light of rampant copyright infringement, but…

…what does that mean in Layman’s terms?

As per Chris Heald’s Mashable post, in a nutshell SOPA:

  • Gives the government the right to unilaterally censor foreign websites.
  • Gives copyright holders the right to issue economic takedowns and bring lawsuits against website owners and operators, if those websites have features that make it possible to post infringing content.
  • Makes it a felony offense to post a copyrighted song or video.

When you look at these basic points, you can see why there is such an uproar in the online world over the SOPA bill. The most poignant example of the effects of this bill is this: something as basic as you uploading a video of yourself singing someone else’s song on YouTube (like millions of people do every day) would be considered a felony. Many entertainment/gossip/music sites? Felonies. Even the vague category of websites that “have features that make it possible to post infringing content” would be in trouble.

Wondering what this has to do with those of us who don’t reside in the US? Well, the SOPA bill would allow the US Department of Justice to take action against any allegedly infringing foreign site. Above and beyond that, the bill would be able to consider any IP address in the American Registry for Internet Numbers (ARIN) as domestic for US law purposes – even though the ARIN consists of IP addresses in Canada and 20 Caribbean countries as well as the US.

As per Michael Geist’s Huffington Post article, “To put this (in) context, every Canadian Internet provider relies on ARIN for its block of IP addresses. In fact, ARIN even allocates the block of IP addresses used by federal and provincial governments. The U.S. bill would treat them all as domestic for U.S. law purposes.”

Please see the hyperlinks I’ve included for more information – I’m just learning about this as well, and the sites I’ve referenced have been the most concise and clear. Feel free to visit the official protest site, SOPAstrike.com to see a list of sites that will be taking part in the strike. Most of these sites, including WordPress.com, Wikipedia.com and Reddit.com will be blacking out their sites for at least 12 hours today. The SOPA bill will be presented in front of Congress on January 24th, so we’ll see how things play out.

Update: Here is Wikipedia’s blackout message – more good info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:SOPA_initiative/Learn_more

I obviously chose not to black out, but my version of support is to dedicate today’s post to educating you all on what I’ve learned about the SOPA bill and its ramifications. If you have any additional insight to SOPA and what that could mean for our online experience, please share in the Comments section! Tomorrow, ’83 To Infinity will be back with its usual goodies! 

November 23, 2011 

Say It Ain’t So: The Beginning Of The End For Health Promotion In Ontario?

If you don’t live here in Ontario, you may not be aware that we had a provincial election last month. Shoot – even if you live here in Ontario, you still might not be aware that we had a provincial election last month, given the record low voter turnout of 49%. Anyways, that’s another issue for another day. What was interesting to me as a healthcare professional was what happened shortly after the election.

Over the past few years, I’ve followed the comings and goings of the Ministry of Health Promotion & Sport, led by Minister Margarett Best. Health Promotion has always been an interest and passion of mine. For me, prevention is worth much more than cure, and I live with the aim of having total wellness, not just being free from chronic disease. In a nutshell, the World Health Organization’s (WHO) definition of health does the best job of explaining things:

“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. The bibliographic citation for this definition is: Preamble to the Constitution of the World Health Organization as adopted by the International Health Conference, New York, 19 June – 22 July 1946; signed on 22 July 1946 by the representatives of 61 States (Official Records of the World Health Organization, no. 2, p. 100) and entered into force on 7 April 1948. The definition has not been amended since 1948.”

- Courtesy of the WHO

Compare that to the idea of the biomedical model of health, which is what the majority of our healthcare system is based on. As per this PowerPoint from the University of Toronto, the biomedical model states that “disease causation is biologically specific”, and that “biological mechanisms are sufficient to explain disease.” The biomedical model forms the basis of our reliance as a society on doctors, hospitals, and drugs – essentially, focusing on finding a cure or treatment vs. working to prevent said health issue in the first place. With the perspective that biology is enough to explain (and thus treat) diseases, not much room is given to explore the effects that things like stress and lack of societal connections can have on one’s health.

There’s a point to all of this.

PLEASE tell me you remember "Body Break" w/ Hal & Joanne...

Shortly after the election, a memo was sent out that the Ministry of Health Promotion & Sport was no longer. It had been folded into the Ministry of Health & Long Term Care, and Hon. Minister Best was now heading up the Ministry of Consumer Services. When I read the email, I did a Leyomi drop. HOW could they get rid of the Ministry of Health Promotion & Sport???? Given what I’ve learned and experienced in our healthcare system, health and health promotion are not the same, as some believe. Add to that the heavy reliance on the biomedical model, and I only saw this move to mean more prescriptions and less preventative care. More funding for long-term care facilities and less funding for community health education programs. Please don’t get me wrong – our society requires elements from both perspectives, but the point remains, we need BOTH perspectives. My fear is that with the dissolution of the Ministry of Health Promotion & Sport, Ontarians are losing out on an important part of what constitutes health.

I’m waiting with bated breath to see what happens to the various facets of our healthcare structure. Will the Ministry of Health & Long Term Care expand in order to adopt the values of the Ministry of Health Promotion & Sport? How will this affect the planning, execution, and promotion of the 2015 Pan/Parapan American Games, if at all? How will funding be provided to various community health care centres and special programs for health education? I’m not sure what to expect, but I won’t deny that a big part of me feels let down by our government. Do they not see the value in health promotion in our society? Hopefully this ends up working out for us Ontarians, but regardless, I’ll always remain a health promotion fanatic :)

What say you? Did you know that the Ministry of Health Promotion & Sport had been dissolved? Do you even care? What do you think about the current state of health care in Ontario? Where is the room for improvement – does it lie more in the health promotion sector, or in the biomedical sector?

October 24, 2011 

Rants, Raves & Reviews: Why You Won’t Catch Me At Urban Textures Salon

Here are a few things I hate:

  • making meticulous plans and having them fall apart
  • being disrespected
  • having my time wasted
  • being disappointed by people/a company which has never disappointed me before

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’ll explain to you how all of the above happened to me on Friday, and why I’ll subsequently never set foot in Urban Textures salon in Scarborough again.

In recent posts, you may have remembered me alluding to some new, exciting thing I was going to do with my hair. I didn’t just have you all waiting in suspense – the husband, my mother, and my best homegirls were all waiting with bated breath to see what look I was going to reveal this weekend. I’ll just cut to the chase and say that when I walked into Fashionably Late on Friday night, everyone was like, “Oh…that’s it?” Here’s the story:

Two weeks ago, I contacted my go-to salon, Urban Textures (Scarborough location) to set up a hair appointment. No spots were available for me on the Saturday I requested, so I ended up moving the appointment to this past Friday. Thursday afternoon, I got a courteous call to confirm that I would be arriving for my 6pm appointment. Now, imagine my surprise when I received a call Friday at noon, asking if it would “be better” for me to come on Wednesday of this week. I politely explained that if Wednesday was better for me, I would have booked on Wednesday. I needed my appointment, and had booked well in advance. The caller stated that there had been a mix-up with the stylist, but there would be no problem with me keeping my 6pm appointment.

I headed out of work later that afternoon, and made the stop-and-go trek across the 401 to Morningside. I arrived at the salon at 5:30, checked in, and waited for my stylist. A few minutes later, she came and introduced herself (we’ll call her Margo). We discussed my plans – to get a bright, sunshiny, multi-dimensional colour similar to Tanika Ray’s:

(source)

We went to the colour bar, looked at various swatches, and picked out the dyes. I got dressed in my salon cape and got a fresh glass of orange juice. Margo mentioned she just had to finish a client’s blow dry job, and she would be right with me. Here’s where the clock started ticking and things got funky.

I noticed that there was a family of about 5 who were all in various stages of getting their hair done. Margo was tending to a few, and another stylist (let’s call her Tina) was tending to the others. As everyone flitted about with this family and ignored me, I realized what must have happened. It was confirmed for me when I heard the Mama Bear of the family say to Tina, “Thanks so much for taking us on short notice!” DING DING DING!!! Urban Textures figured they would try to bump me, one lowly customer, to make room for the last-minute booking of 5 clients. Mo’ money = mo’ problems, so they tried to fix the problem by trying to get me to move to Wednesday. I started getting hot, and at about 6:50, I was about to take off my cape and hit the door. All of a sudden, Margo looked over and was jolted back to the reality of my presence. I saw her pull Tina and the front desk girl into a pow-wow, with all of them nervously looking at me while they spoke. Mama Bear and her crew were finally heading out the door, when Margo came to speak to me.

“I’m SO sorry for the wait,” she began. “So, it’s 7pm now. We close by 9pm, and I leave soon… Unfortunately, I won’t be able to start your colour, but we WILL do a wash and style for free (insert big Kool-Aid smile here)!”

“A wash and style….for free.” I repeated. She nodded excitedly, waiting for me to jump out my chair and praise God that I wasn’t going to come out of pocket. I think I said it again. “A wash and style, for free.” I felt myself getting so mad that I bypassed yelling and cussing mode, and was going into silent mode. When Margo began babbling about rescheduling my appointment to later in the week or next weekend, I cut her off and let her know that wasn’t possible. I was going on my honeymoon. When she started babbling about me coming in first thing the next morning, I let her know that wasn’t possible either. I was going to London to visit my sick cousin. I let her know that this is all why I booked my appointment for the date it was set for. I could see on her face that she felt horribly, and tried to give me a hug. I’m not a hugger, especially with strangers who have wasted my time, so that didn’t go well. She quickly hurried off to pow-wow with Tina again to “see what they could do.”

After a minute or two, Tina came over. She apologized. She rolled her eyes and started badmouthing Margo. She offered me a free deep treatment in addition to the wash and style to make up for my lost time. I let Tina know that I would accept the free services, but they in no way made up for the fact that I did not get what I came for. I let her know the only reason I was accepting the service was that I had somewhere to be later that night, and had no time now to go home and style my hair properly. The apologies went in one ear and out the other while she did my hair. Other customers seemed to be waiting for me to blow up, probably hoping they’d be able to submit a ratchet video to Worldstarhiphop.com, but I was so mad, all I could do was be silent. I get like that sometimes. Plus, I knew that making a stink wouldn’t do anything to make an impact. That’s why I chose to stay silent, and planned to vent with this blog post, and with the phone call and email that the owner, Christos Cox, will be receiving from me on Monday.

About an hour later, I left the salon with a free, fresh blow-out and flat iron. However, Tina continued to annoy the hell out of me by trying to sell me $80 worth of product “to take on my honeymoon” (I guess she wanted to help me spend my extra money), and by letting me know once she was finished that my hair needed a trim, which she promised to do when I came back for my colour. Which will be never.

Here’s my before:

And here’s my after:

Don’t get me wrong – I worked the hell outta that flat iron at Fashionably Late, but the point is, it wasn’t what I wanted.

As I mentioned at the start of this novel of a post, I hate plans falling through. I hate being disrespected. I hate my time being wasted. And I hate being disappointed by someone who has never disappointed me before. All of my past visits to Urban Textures in Scarborough (there is also a location in downtown Toronto on Gerrard) have been amazing. I’ve sung their praises and referred other friends and acquaintances there as well, but after this episode, all of that will come to an end. You’ve gotta give the good with the bad, so this is a story that people will also hear if they ask for my thoughts on this salon. Christos will need to educate his staff on the proper way to handle clients, and remind them that chasing after quick money won’t always end well. Hopefully Mama Bear and her cubs will become consistent clients at Urban Textures Scarborough, because they’ve lost me.

Have you ever had a terrible experience at a salon? Did you ever go back? And since I still need a colour done, any recommendations on where I should go?

October 2, 2011 

Old Spice Makes You Smell Good, But Won’t Cure Self-Hatred

Self-hate is running rampant, folks. If this wasn’t already apparent to you, here’s a story about the latest victim, Isaiah Mustafa, aka The Old Spice Guy:

Photo via huffingtonpost.com

Mustafa was being interviewed by the E! channel recently, and was asked about his relationship status. Stating that he is currently single and ready to mingle, the anchor asked what he was looking for a woman. He listed nice things like athleticism and honesty, and wrapped it up with “good hair“.

The anchor asked if the “good hair” had to be real hair (maybe he just wanted a chick with a fly lacefront to look good on his arm?), to which he stated replied:

“Yes, it does have to be real hair. I want my kids to have nice hair so she better have good hair. Cause, I don’t know if you’ve checked my hair out lately. Aside from today it’s normally nice. Today it’s slightly nappy.”

I read that and thought “What a poor, pitiful, self-deprecating man.” Are we really still doing this? Are we still acting out the “good hair vs. bad hair” meme like shyt is sweet?

Mustafa isn’t the first Black man to speak on wanting a chick with “good hair”, and I’m sure he won’t be the last. What tickles me about his quote is that he uses his future children as an excuse. I presume he meant that he wouldn’t want his kids to be teased over the texture of their hair, so his quote is some kind of honourable way to protect his seed. Really and truly, that’s a transparent trick. I would bet money that even if Mustafa was impotent, he would still want a chick with “good hair” to call his lady.

I used to get angry with statements like these coming from Black men, especially when I was transitioning from relaxed to natural hair. Why weren’t my natural curls good enough? Sexy enough? Why couldn’t these dudes learn, as I did, that “good hair” was “healthy hair”, regardless of the texture? Why were they proud to walk around with a chick lookin’ like this:

Photo via blog.myhairstylingtools.com

Photo via essence.com

*sorry Bey – I love you but that day truly was a bad hair day, boo.*

Photo via olanessabuzz.blogspot.com

…just because her hair was straight and not “nappy”? Did he not realize that if his partner couldn’t (or didn’t know how to) take care of her own hair, she’d probably have their kids running around out here looking like they stuck their fingers in a light socket?

Eventually, I realized two things. One, I was wasting my time trying to figure all that nonsense out. Two, it was never about me, or any other natural, nappy haired chick anyways. It was all about HIM and how he viewed himself, which evidently, was not in a positive way.

Self-hatred presents itself in many ways. One such way is exhibited by Mr. Mustafa himself – how can you want to avoid and run away from something that is intrinsically part of you? Has he harboured some sort of resentment towards his own parents for not having the same foresight and saving himself from this nappy-headed Hell? Did he feel like he was ugly that day, because his hair was “slightly nappy”? And what would he have done if he woke up that morning and his hair was *gasp* ACTUALLY NAPPY???

I have some family members that think the same way as Mustafa. Constantly seeking the affections of women who look nothing like their mothers, aunts, or cousins, and for what? Your spouse or partner is supposed to bring the best out in you, not mask what it is that you hate about yourself. One family member would only date White women, and even had a nose job to make his nose smaller….but I always thought, ‘so what happens when you have a child and they inherit your ORIGINAL nose?’ Let me just tell you – he did have children, and their non-Black mother didn’t help the kids to avoid the inevitable.

Ladies and gents, love yourselves. Teach your children to love themselves. School anyone who needs to hear it that “good hair = healthy hair” so that we can eliminate this self-hate the same way Mustafa is trying to eliminate his naps from his bloodline. There is nothing wrong with having your preferences – but if you seek certain partners and avoid others simply because you don’t like something about YOURSELF – you might need to re-evaluate things.

As for Mustafa, he did what all celebs do when they make ignorant, head-up-azz comments – he apologized via Twitter:

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Isaiah Mustafa
I want 2 apologize wholeheartedly 2 anyone out there who was offended or hurt by the irresponsible comments I made on E! News. #ignorant
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________
Are you surprised, angered or even phased by comments like Mustafa’s anymore? How can we heal self-hate in the Black community? Do you struggle with personal flaws, or do you love yourself in spite of your imperfections?