'83 To Infinity

Photo via http://opheliaexplainsitall.blogspot.com

So, I’m still off with the flu, but feel like I’m finally on the upswing now. I only woke up once through the night. I haven’t thrown up in 24 hours. I have one fully functioning nostril. My head only feels like it’s half full of cotton balls. I feel like standing on my balcony and belting out “Feelin’ Good” a la Jennifer Hudson. With sick days at home comes back-to-back viewings of The Maury Povich Show, one of my guilty pleasures. I was watching one of the “Is My Man Cheating With My Best Friend’s Baby Sister’s Lesbian Girlfriend?” shows with the lie detector test that’s really not necessary. Every man or woman who comes on these shows already has enough proof of infidelity, yet still believe they need Maury’s lie detector man to tell them what they already know. Which led me to ask, “Why do we do this to ourselves?”

Maya Angelou once said “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” I find that in today’s world, this quote is leaned on as a crutch after someone has received the proof of whatever was tugging at their intuition. Is it possible to begin referring to it at the onset of a problem? Can we save ourselves from unnecessary pain, or do we need to doubt our intuition in order to learn how to trust it?

I’ll admit. It’s hard. You want to trust your intuition, but you want to give them the benefit of the doubt. And how can you really be sure that something untoward is going on? Those questionable signs you’re seeing might be able to be attributed to something valid, and at the end of the day, no one wants to jump to conclusions and be accused of overreacting. So you swallow those nagging feelings until the day things blow up. And while you’re sitting there wondering what went wrong, a well-meaning friend tries to console and empower you with that same Maya Angelou quote. Maybe you’ll arm yourself better the next time, or maybe not.

Photo via http://www.sagittarianmind.com/

I’ve gotten much better at trusting my intuition. If a place doesn’t feel right, I probably won’t go. If a person doesn’t seem genuine, I probably won’t do more than smile and nod. If a request makes me feel like something not-so-good might come of it, I’ll respectfully decline. Have I been accused of “thinking too much”? Yes. Have I been made to feel guilty about not doing something or going somewhere because it didn’t feel right? Sure. Have I ever been wrong? Yes – but never about anything that truly mattered. I may have passed up a night or two because I didn’t have a good feeling about the venue or the company. Sure, the place didn’t get shot up – but I’ve always been told “You didn’t miss much anyway.” It’s taken me a while to get to this point, and sometimes I still doubt myself. However, one of the most important intuition-reliant areas in my life has been within relationships, as I’m sure many of you can relate. Allow me to share a story with y’all.

Summers ago, when I was single and ready to mingle, I used to come to Toronto almost every weekend to hang with friends who lived in the city. One sunny Saturday, my girls and I headed to a BBQ where I planned to do nothing but soak up the sun and eat some chicken and burgers. What I didn’t expect was to meet a chocolate Adonis – a funny, athletic cutie who could BBQ like nobody’s business AND could entertain the gaggle of kids people brought to the park? Sign me up! He approached me, I gave him my number, then next thing you know, I was visiting him in Toronto and he was visiting me in London. It was all fun until I started getting some questionable vibes. I saw that his Hi5 page (yes, I said Hi5) said he was “In a relationship.” I asked him about it, because I didn’t think we were at that point yet – and he said he simply hadn’t updated it since his last relationship. We went to visit a friend of his in the hospital, and all of his boys looked confused when they saw me. I thought I heard one say “Oh, I thought you were bringing….” but when his voice trailed off, I let my nagging intuition fade into the wind too. But here’s the kicker. Like I said, we were doing a long-distance thing. My maiden name is also the name of another city in SW Ontario, and for some reason, a lot of people would confuse the city I lived in with the city I shared a name with. Everytime my boo-piece would say “I have the weekend off – so I’m going to drive down to ______ to see you!” I’d say, “Silly! My last name is ______! You mean London!” And on and on it went, until I started wondering if he had some kind of memory problem. Turns out he didn’t have a memory problem, he had a girlfriend-and-baby-on-the-way problem. And his girlfriend lived in the same city as my last name. And he simply couldn’t keep his calendar straight from if he was driving to see me, or to see her. He was quickly cut loose, but I kicked myself a week later when a friend sent me that Maya Angelou quote, and I promised never to silence my intuition again.

Photo via http://78notes.blogspot.com/2011/06/intuition-needs-your-input.html

The moral of the story? Well, any moral I share won’t be as effective as the lesson you’ll learn when you don’t trust your intuition. So whether it’s something about your partner, or that family member asking for a “loan”, or that new job offer that has you thinking twice, don’t ignore that! You possess instincts for a reason. Utilize common sense, but never deny the power of your intuition. It’s a personal lesson that everyone must learn on their own – but I guarantee, it’ll be a lesson you won’t soon forget.

Do you trust your intuition? Has doing so saved you from something negative, or led you to something positive? Have you learned the lesson of what happens when you don’t trust your intuition? When you get those nagging feelings, do you hold back, or do you react?

Photo via: http://zirtual.com/blog/pomodor-technique/

If you’re anything like me, you might be a procrastinator who has a hard time focusing on tasks. I have epic episodes of mind wandering, and unless it’s a task that I REALLY want to do, I end up doing a million other things at the same time. On a good day, I’ll feel like a super multitasker, and on other days, I get a whole lot of nothing done. A lot started, but nothing finished. 

When I recently had my performance review at work, one of my personal goals was to create a better organizational system for myself. Part of that organizational system includes finding a better way to focus, and while wasting time on Twitter today (shout out to Luvvie Ajayi), I may have found something to help! It’s called the Pomodoro Technique.

The Pomodoro Technique was created in the 1980s by Francesco Cirillo to assist with improving time management skills. While he was in university, he had serious productivity challenges. He’d have the best of intentions to study for that exam, or write that paper, but distractions and interruptions continuously hampered his efforts. Sound familiar? Once he actually began looking at how time is constructed, and how he could make it work for him, he came up with the Pomodoro Technique (named after the Italian word for tomato, for one reason or another).

The technique is pretty simple. All you need is a to-do list created in order of priority (including separate sections called ‘Unplanned & Urgent’ and ‘Activity Inventory’ – more on those later), a timer, and motivation. Time is broken down into blocks called pomodoros, which equals 25 minutes. Take your task list, set your timer to 25 minutes, and once that timer starts, you work on the first task and ONLY the first task for 25 solid minutes.

Once 25 minutes is up, put an X beside your task, and take a 3-5 minute break. This should be a real break – get a drink, go to the bathroom, crack a joke or two with your coworker, but ensure to disconnect from your work. It’s important to do nothing mentally strenuous. Once break time is up, start the next pomodoro and either continue your first task, or move on to the next one. Take a 3-5 minute break after each pomodoro, and after the fourth one, take a longer break (15-30 minutes). Keep it going until you’re finished!

What happens if you get interrupted during a pomodoro? With internal interruptions (ones we create ourselves, like having a sudden craving for pizza or wanting to check a text that just came through on your phone), the key is to ask yourself if it needs to be attended to right now. The answer is usually no – the task can wait until your next break. Put a small comma beside your task to note the potential interruption, and document the task in “Unplanned & Urgent” task list (if it needs to be done today), or in the “Activity Inventory” if there is no deadline. Get to them later, and continue with your pomodoro!

What about external interruptions, like phone calls, emails, and other people? Put your voicemail to good use. Mute your computer so that you can’t hear that special ding when you have a new email. Tell your friend, sister, or coworker that you’re in the middle of something right now – can it wait a few more minutes or until later in the day? The Inform-Negotiate-Call Back strategy is always helpful: inform the person effectively (and politely) that you’re busy; negotiate with them to reschedule their needs; and ensure to “call-back” at the negotiated time. Use a dash to mark the external interruption next to your task, and add the external interruption to either the “Unplanned & Urgent” (if it must be done today) or “Activity Inventory” (if it can wait until tomorrow) lists as applicable.

If an interruption MUST be handled, then you have no choice but to void the current pomodoro, handle the issue, then start over. Two things to remember: pomodoros cannot be divided (there is no “half a pomodoro“), and as Cirillo coined, “Once a pomodoro begins, it has to ring!”

I tried this out loosely today while doing some household tasks, and will put it to the real test once I’m back in the office. My problem with focus is that instead of breaking tasks down into chunks of time, I looked at the task itself – this became overwhelming to say the least, and led to my procrastination when the task became too daunting to complete. Using the pomodoro breakdown, having the timer to make my accomplishments audible, taking a real break to disconnect, and having my list to track not only my completed work but also the number of interruptions I have each day – these things all made a difference in how I approached getting things done.

Want to read more on the Pomodoro Technique? Check the official site, and be sure to click “The Book” to download a free copy of Cirillo’s e-book (link near the bottom of the page). The e-book covers much more detail to the technique, but the good thing is that you can tailor it as you see fit. Begin with the basic steps as I’ve mentioned here, and build on the technique once you’re more comfortable. You’ll be an over-achieving work machine in no time!

Bonus: For you iPhone users, there’s an app for that!

Do you struggle with focus and/or procrastination? Do you think the Pomodoro Technique would help? Are there any other tips or tricks you use to stay on track and get things done? PLEASE do share..I need help, y’all! If you decide to give Pomodoro a try, let me know how it works for you!

Yeah, we chillin' just like this...

(source)

Happy Hump Day! Hope the week is going well so far!

This is the perfect time to go back in the ’83 To Infinity archives and check out posts you may have missed! Posting will resume next week, unless I decide not to come back…

~ Bee

Hey y’all! As you’re reading this, I’m currently en route to my secret destination

Enjoy your week, and I’ll be back soon with more fun posts to let you know what I’ve been up to…

In the meantime, check out some of my homies:

Goddess Intellect

Nubiansoulslocks

This Is Your Conscience

Canadian Curlies

I’m sure they’ll keep you entertained!

~Bee

Welcome to 83 To Infinity!

I’ve thought long and hard about this blog: what would my approach be? What am I trying to accomplish? Will I focus on one topic, or cover a wide range? Will I be able to keep up with posting regularly? Will people even READ this????

Before I could hit “cancel” on my theme settings and log out of my WordPress account, I realized that there was a reason I named this blog 83 To Infinity. That name represents life’s journey, the fact that you’re not born with all the answers, and the fact that inspiration is not a finite construct – it defies time, space, and distance. Life is about figuring it out, so that’s what I plan to do here!

Writing has always been an outlet for me – so this blog will be just that. A place for me to escape from my obligations, and spend time writing about some of my passions:

• Health & Wellness: as the daughter of a nurse, health was one of my earliest interests – I was lucky enough to follow my interest through my education and beyond. I’m a bit of a health fiend, so be prepared!
• Career: Let’s face it – we’ve got to make money somehow. Having worked in a variety of organizations and entry-level to executive positions, I get asked a lot of questions about how to make those career moves – I’ll cover some of those here.
• Speaking of questions, one I get multiple times every week is: “How did you get your hair like that?” Currently wearing my hair natural and free of any chemicals, I tend to speak to a lot of people about hair. I’ve done almost everything you can think of with my hair, and while I’m not a trained expert, I plan on covering my own personal experiences in an effort to help others out there. Being an Afro-Canadian woman of Jamaican descent, I’ve read many American-based natural hair blogs, but they don’t always relate to me – hopefully I can increase some of the Canadian perspective here.
• Anything that makes me laugh, think, and grow…