Retro-blog: "I'm Being Tested" (Dedicated To All The Parents)

I don't have kids yet. God willing, I'll have a nice little brood of healthy mini-Bees running around at some point, but for now, I'm living that selfish newlywed life. However, I have had enough experience with chirrun to know that it is NOT a cake walk. Here is a post of mine from April 21, 2009, where I detailed the stress of being "Mommy" for the weekend...enjoy!

So, for the past few days, I've been babysitting a friend's little girl. I'm just in the middle of my tour of duty, and I've learned so much more than I thought I would have...let's just say, I'm exhausted.

First of all, she's a GREAT child. A very well-mannered, smart, and happy child, which I love. However, going from my "bachelorette" lifestyle to one of a temporary mommy has had its eye-opening challenges. As a teen, back when I wanted to be a paediatrician, I surrounded myself with kids every chance I could get. Working at summer camps, volunteering at children's hospitals, you name it, if it involved kids, I was down. Since moving on from those days and those dreams, I've been a pretend adult faking it amongst real adults, and seem to have lost my kiddie vibe. I for sure thought this favour was going to be a disaster.

Let's just say I never knew how hard it was to put a child to sleep. My mom had the bomb "hushing" skills, but I'm fairly rusty. Kid-friendly food portions? What are those? It's a big guesstimate of how much will be enough to fill her, but not stuff her. And it seems like every day and every meal, that amount changes. Grr.

Add to that, the picky eater. I almost cried from hurt feelings when I slaved to cook dinner the way she likes it...not too spicy, not too hot, just right. Then, after 2 bites, she whispers to the BF: "I don't want anymore". Thoughts of my mother explaining "how much food costs" and "don't think about wasting that food!" zoomed through my head. NOW I know what she was talking about all those years ago when I just pushed food around in my plate, or purposely chewed up a huge bolus until she made me spit it out for fear that I'd choke.

Why do kids always want to chat when you're in the bathroom? That seems like prime discussion time. And kids always want to ask you to do something that you can't possibly do while on the toilet or in the shower. Then when you come out, they don't need you anymore. What's up with that??

Now I've had a taste of how my mommy friends are livin'. I have to throw my hat down to all of them and bow, because I don't know how they do it! I can't just pick up and go to the movies. I'd like to go out on Saturday night, but who's going to watch her? Shyt - can't watch Family Guy this evening because some little eyes are too curious for their own good! Plus, I'm the "getaway" temporary replacement while Real Mommy is away. That means kids have higher expectations of you - you have to be just as fun, just as cool, and just as awesome as all those times you were in their presence for a short period. It's hard being consistently cool to a 6 year old! I'm pooped. I'll try to post again and document some more, but we'll see if I can find the time :S

Big-ups to all the parents out there, and a special holla to the ones doing it on their own...phew. Y'all are good. Everyone tells me when I have my own, my personal momma instincts will kick in, and it won't seem so foreign and hard. Right now, the BF has more mommy skills than me, and I'm kind of doubting myself. Ah well...when the time is right, hopefully I can still be a cool, bathroom-chattin', perfect meal cookin', bomb-azz putter-to-bedder mommy, and still be a fabulous, sexy chica in every other dimension as well :)

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